I joined the Marriage Care community back in 2017. As my 20 year marriage weakened, arguments began and happiness at home deteriorated, I became desperate for support. The problem had enveloped my life. It had become bigger than my marriage, bigger than family and bigger than the children. All my conversations that took place with friends and family became about the impasse I had with my husband.
I had looked into relationship counselling services through my GP but, there was a year-long waiting list. My relationship could not wait this long and I was sure it wouldn’t survive. I had thought about taking up private relationship counselling but the cost was too much, and it would also have been an excuse for my husband not to attend.
Giving just £10 can help support Marriage Care restore relationships, just like mine.
When talking to a friend – having yet another conversation about my problems – they informed me of Marriage Care. They explained they had a previous, positive experience with Marriage Care and that a donation-only service was available. Although I was very apprehensive and scared, the recommendation from a friend and affordable service would become my saviour.
After a calm and positive telephone call with Marriage Care’s National Telephone Appointment Service my husband and I received 6 relationship counselling sessions at the London Centre, Notting Hill Gate. Everyone I spoke to during the whole process was reassuring and calm. There was no dramatization or judgement and that really helped to alleviate a lot of fear and apprehension. Even on the first session, the community feeling of the building used for the counselling sessions helped to remove the clinical feel to the process.
At the first session, my husband and I were greeted by a kind and receptive counsellor, which helped remove the feeling of shame and judgement whilst building trust between us. Throughout our counselling, the counsellor was very perceptive, exceptionally fair and confident to challenge viewpoints of both sides and helped to provide a new perspective on the situation. One of the most valuable lessons I learned was being equipped with the tools and ability to communicate better, empowering us to discuss issues without arguing.
Using the tools and techniques provided by our counsellor we were able to hold conversations to effectively discuss our underlying issues in a civilised manner. These conversations lead to positive outcomes and, after 2 years, have now been able to agree on a compromise we are both happy with. I now feel free from the terrible rage and fury I had towards my husband… I now feel like I can and want to say “I love you”, again.
Without the support of Marriage Care I have no doubt that my marriage would have ended in a divorce. Not only would this have huge implications on my mental wellbeing, it would definitely have impacted on my children’s lives as well. Marriage Care really did save my marriage. To all of Marriage Care, but especially out counsellor, I would like to say thank you.
I am happy to say that myself and my husband are still happily married, a year on. Yes, we have our troubles but, so does everyone. However, Marriage Care has empowered us to communicate effectively and work through the issues that may arise. The biggest barrier to taking up relationship counselling was the cost and the fear of judgement. However, the whole process of the donation-only service, from the initial contact with the National Support Staff to the service delivery from the outstanding counsellor, these barriers were broken down so we could build bridges.
“As my 20year marriage weakened, arguments began and happiness at home deteriorated, I became desperate for support. The problem had enveloped my life. It had become bigger than my marriage, bigger than family and bigger than the children.
I had researched relationship counselling services through my GP but, there was a year-long waiting list. My relationship could not wait this long; I was sure it wouldn’t survive. I had considered taking up private relationship counselling, but the cost was too much, and would have been an excuse for my husband not to attend.
A friend recommended me to Marriage Care who, from the word go, were positive, calm and reassuring. Throughout the whole process, there was no dramatization, nor judgement, which really helped to relieve the shame we felt. It also helped build a trust between us and the counsellor.
The helping hands our counsellor provided was just what we needed. Finally, we have now been able to agree on a compromise we are both happy with. I now feel free from the terrible rage and fury I had towards my husband… I now feel like I can and want to say, “I love you”, again. Without a doubt, one of the most valuable lessons I learned was being equipped with the tools and ability to communicate better, empowering us to discuss issues without arguing.
Without the support of Marriage Care I am certain my marriage would have ended in a divorce. Not only would this have had huge implications on my mental well-being, it would definitely have impacted on my children’s lives as well. The biggest barrier to taking up relationship counselling was the cost and the fear of judgement. However, the combination of a donation-only service coupled with the kind-hearted and supportive nature of the staff and volunteers allowed these barriers were broken down so we could build bridges.
Marriage Care really did save my marriage. To all of Marriage Care, but especially out counsellor, I would like to say thank you.