Our volunteer counsellors have helped many people in their journey towards a better relationship. Some of them have shared part of their story with us.

“We have definitely improved. We take time to do some of the things that the counsellor told us to do and we try to do some very basic things daily – we look at each other, we listen to each other. Some of the very simple tools [the counsellor] gave us are very effective. It’s a choice that we make to engage with each other.”

– Franklin, Barnet

“It took some time for us to realise what was really going on in our relationship. We both gained insights into our behaviour and why we behave as we do. It was important to keep going as we needed to recognise the problem and find a way to manage it. We needed to hear each other’s viewpoint and this was helped by having the counsellor there to mediate and normalise the conversations. Our counsellor was very skilful in guiding us, pulling us back to the topic, helping to draw things out from us (we are both pretty self-contained). She provided a framework to understand and help resolve conflicts. By the end we both felt things had improved a lot.”

– Justin and Mary, Newcastle

“The sessions were really very insightful and enlightening. Speaking about my emotions and speaking about my past as a young man was difficult but understanding why I had to do it helped really a lot. (…) I have found my partner more understanding and I find myself more tolerant after the counselling sessions.”

– Lenny, Middlewich

“Counselling made me look at my behaviours that weren’t okay or helpful so when you see these behaviours happening, you have to stop. On a very practical level; the counsellor gave us tools to talk to each other differently. I am kinder and nicer towards my husband.”

– Jodi, London

Marriage Care Case Study: Sonya and Jack

Sonya and Jack met backpacking in Australia. They moved to the UK when they married and settled in a very rural area near Jack’s family. They had a baby during the pandemic and Sonya felt incredibly isolated and lonely. When she had their second child, she became depressed and decided to take an extended visit to her own family back home, but when she returned to the UK she felt even worse. Jack enjoyed living near his family and didn’t understand how the isolation was affecting her and this led to a lot of clashes. They got help from Marriage Care and learned about how to communicate empathetically so they could better understand each other’s perspectives and also rule out the well-intentioned interference of in-laws on both sides. Talking through the issue in a different way helped Jack to realise how their isolated location was affecting Sonya. The couple have now agreed to move to somewhere that suits both of them, and are thriving on their new found communication skills.

– Names have been changed. Story shared with consent of clients and counsellor – August 2023